‘Change’ plays an important role in life. If ‘your’ speed of change is not greater than the rate of change in ‘surroundings’, change will certainly out-perform you.
There is a famous saying – If You Don’t Change your Mind, Your Mind Will Change You. How true.
We see most of the people are not generally happy about their state of life, and they keep feeling same way for many years. They don’t realize that if they want things to change, they will first have to change themselves. At times people don’t try to change because of a false beliefs or those who do try, often give up too soon.
Think about why would someone who is unhappy refuse to change? Well, mostly they may not want to give up their misery because it is a tool they use to win sympathy, manipulate others, or play the role of a martyr. So, those who are thinking of change should begin by asking themselves, “Do I really want to change?”
If ‘desire’ is described as the first step for change, then ‘accepting its responsibility’ could be the second one. For instance – your happiness. The truth is no one except you are responsible for it.. be it your parents, friends, coworkers, neighbors, doctor, government, religion or God. Accepting responsibility means we stop blaming the world for our suffering.
Sidney Madwed — “Every man is the architect of his own life. He builds it just the way he wants it. However, after he has built what he wants, he sometimes decides that he doesn’t like what he has built and looks for someone or something to blame instead of changing himself.” Perfect !!
If we are unhappy it is because we are doing something wrong. Nothing will change until we do. That is, we have to change our thoughts, beliefs, and view. The fact is, it is not what happens to us that causes our unhappiness, rather it is our negative interpretation of the events. Until we grasp this point, we will be unable to move forward. To improve we have to be able to say, “It is not what happens to me that causes my suffering, but how I react, fight against, and struggle with what happens.”
Many people, despite a sincere attempt to change, give up trying to and return to their old ways. The main reason for this is they expect too much too soon. They expect to see changes overnight. And when they don’t, they give up. To avoid making the same mistake, carefully monitor and record your thoughts, feelings, behavior, and results of your actions. Look for changes in intensity, duration, and frequency.
Together, we can prove that Leo Nikolaevich Tolstoy (1828 ~ 1910) was wrong when he wrote “Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself.”
Let’s change the world by changing ourselves.
